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23:36·2 SPEAKERS·2203 WORDS
AAnd like there's no telling what the speed of this will be. Like I had this for like two months, three months. But within that, like my fingers start getting more. At this speed, People look at you different.
BI feel like. Interactions, people who you already know anyway. So it's not like even if that was a thing that people looked at you different, which I think will be a much less of a thing here, it's not going to affect your life that much. Like I used. I mean this is a minor case of the same thing where like I was so conscious about my moles on my face. Like that's the first thing anyone notices about me. At least when I was a kid.
AI don't know that that's a bad thing. I thought moles were like beauty marks.
BThey were always considered small ones that are not directly on your face and not forming like a line. Yes. But this isn't. Yeah, I mean, yeah, pretty. I was pretty self conscious about it. And I think, I don't know, isn't like if it's such a big mole, you notice it on a person. Right. Like the first thing you see on their faces.
ANow I don't even see it.
BYeah. Even I don't see it now. But on a new person you do see it. Right. And. I just got why two things happened. I got just so used to seeing my own face that didn't matter. And the amount of people I actually interact with is just that closed universe that it's a very fairly closed universe. That's not going to change. So yeah, it didn't matter like what other people would think about how I look. The only thing I feel like, I mean, you will control how this disease makes you feel. You are the only person who will control it.
AAnd I, I know that I will get used to it. Like today, it's just today it's been confirmed and I'm like freaking out. But I know that I will get a handle on it. That's. Yeah. I just don't know, man. I just don't know how I'll deal with like people asking me what happened or how I'll be able to tell them or like, I don't know. I think I do enjoy feeling like I'm at least average pretty and I don't know how I feel knowing that people look at me in a pitying way now. Just a very visible illness, you know,
BI don't know. I think you're projecting your own experiences
Aonto other people 100% like, so you
Bneed to stop thinking about it that way, right?
AHow? Baby, it's just a lifetime of like these thoughts that have been stuffed down my throat.
BI mean being cognizant of the fact that it is only in your head is a starting point. Just remember that. No, not everyone has those feelings of pity that you're imagining they're having.
AYeah,
Byou're just self pitying at that point. You're not. That's. You're just pitying yourself.
AYeah.
BAnd then you are the one who's marking this as a negative thing in your life. No one else. But yeah, I mean it'll take time. You just have to. I just have to have a strong
Awill and put my girl pants on.
BNot let it bother you. And it won't be an immediate thing that you'll do today, but just have that attitude and it'll be fine over time. You'll get used to it. I think. Yeah. I think in life in general you have attached more value to how you appear and that it will take time to readjust. But it's fine. Like it's. It's even better honestly when you stop caring about it that much and probably helps in like the long term as well. Like you. We will now start aging, right?
AYeah. But this feels like.
BYeah, yeah.
ALess in hard mode.
BYeah, definitely. It's kind of like how you were talking about chokesy balding. It is in hard mode, but I still believe it. It's useful in the long run. You will develop other ways of liking yourself which are in my opinion better ways. And anyway, I don't think it'll be that bad for you. I'm like, you also have this medicine now which looks promising. Google search, FDA approved and stuff since 2022 or something.
ASo yeah, it's very new.
BSo like you don't even have to worry about like that much like face, face. It's like it won't be that bad for you.
AYeah. So yeah, like I feel like if it's on my body but I can at least keep my face manageable.
BYeah, I think you'll be fine.
ABut you should, you should also see what it looks like under a black light lamp. It was very interesting to see me glow in the dark. Like the contrast is not so high to the naked eye but like under the black light it's stark.
BYeah. I think first to do research whenever you get a good time.
AYeah. I don't know because of how my mom has dealt with this disease and talked about it our whole lives. I just really don't want to share it. With her. Like, that's, I think, the main thing.
BYeah. I feel like you're being stressed about
Ahow my mom will make me feel.
BYeah. And also because, like, about, like, you're stressed about something that's not even happened yet. Like, or like, is.
ABut I know how much pity and like, she'll make it about herself also. She'll be like, oh, meha, I was so pretty. You're also so pretty. Like, the implication will always be like, this is a curse.
BAnd like, yeah, so don't tell her. At least abita until she can't notice it. I don't see the point of telling her. I don't see how it will help anyone.
AI mean, I also asked the doctor about, like, the age of the spots. Like, some of my spots are like two months old, but, like, some are much newer. Does it work better on older spots or newer spots? And he's like, no, there's no correlation with that.
BAnd like, do you have to keep applying to. For them to stay away?
AThey don't come back that I haven't asked. And I. As soon as I walked out of the office, even I thought of it. Pigmentation. So do I have to keep applying? But I'll look it up. Also, like, on bigger spots, like, pigmentation, Cat usually is. Sometimes it's complete, but sometimes it's like, partial. I don't know. Anyway, lots of questions. I have to. Yeah, man, there's no winning. There's no way I can tell mom and then be a happy person in life.
BYeah, don't tell her. There's no point. Why are you telling her if there's only a bad outcome?
AOnly a bad outcome.
BThere's no point. No, you can tell your brother, but that's it. Don't even tell your brother. Honestly, there's more chance for it to reach your mom than.
ABut I also feel like if this drug exists and it could work.
BSee if it works for you first. Yeah. Or you can mention without you mentioning, I just read it in the news, showed up in my feed. Whatever.
AThe doctor gave me a free sample, Bro.
BSoon we're going to be living in a golden age of drug discovery. Also, I'm pretty optimistic about that also, because my dupixin is also pretty new.
AYeah, I know. Which is why I was like, oh, I'm familiar. It's a sample. Oh, it's a free sample. The doctor gave it to me for free and he's like, I'll send a prescription, but see how you like it. She was like, oh, you can Come back in six months and tell us like if the consistency is not okay. And I was like, bro, I'm not going to complain. Like, you're telling me there's a medicine that fixes. I'm not gonna talk about the smell or the consistency.
BYeah. Not for intravaginal use.
AYeah. I asked him also be like, I have one like tiny spot near my mouth. Is it okay for me to use near my mouth? There's a.
BI can't remember.
AYeah, it's. I don't even. Above. Right above my cupid's bow.
BCan't even tell. Yeah. I can see a small spot.
AYeah. But let's say theoretically it were to spread. And I was like, is it safe to use like around the mouth? He was like, yeah, it's perfectly safe to use. There's no known side effects. I just hope our last hurdle is insurance.
BOh yeah.
ANo, I mean pharmacy still hasn't called me and told me how much insurance is covering and how much I am paying. Let's say at my current thing, I use up this tube in like a month. A month. Because I have this twice a day. Eight months
Bmaybe.
AI mean, I have.
BI mean,
AI mean, why not save
Bit for your face?
AI mean, it's not like I can't afford it.
BIf it's $2,000 a tube, you can't afford it.
AThis, this is not the full size tube. This is a sample tube.
BStill, whatever size the tube even. It's this big. You can't afford $2,000 a tube.
AI mean, I buy. Yeah. I don't buy anything that expensive. Yeah. But let's see, let's see. Also, like I was looking up Toda Ki Kya Otai. So this. Because the company that makes this, they know that this often doesn't get approved for insurance because this is not a. So they have a copay card.
BYeah. Make that. Give it to your insurance provider.
AHow you also have to do all this?
BYeah.
ASo you have a dupixent copay card.
BYeah, Get that.
AAnd then that plus my insurance. If it's like a couple hundred dollars per tube, I think I can do it.
BThat plus your insurance. Yeah, plus I think three insurance. I don't know how it will work, but deductive. Like there's a cap.
AThere's a cap.
BIf it's $3,000 a year, it's fine.
AMy cap is. I think. Oh, I don't know about prescription gap.
BBut first research efficient cases may actually solve.
AYeah. And like. Okay, time to join R VIO. Man two Years in a row. Two diagnosis such as literally one year ago, brain tumor.
BThe human body.
ANo. Man. I feel like people our age are a little more healthy.
BNo, everyone's suffering from something, I guess.
AChokesika diabetes.
BYeah. So prison.
AHow has he gotten away with nothing except acidity? I mean, he's 65 now.
BOr could be probably.
AHe's on no daily medication. Mom takes thyroid. Dad has nothing.
BThat's pretty nice.
ACosmetic thing. Ultimately, this is not.
BIt's pretty good.
AYeah. There's not a hand thing. I'm healthy still.
BYeah.
AAnd if it weren't for societal stigma, I don't even know if I would think of it as a illness or whatever. Smell me. I tried. I went to sephora. Nice. I told mom, this is the perfume India cheaper. And if you see.
BI feel like you are more stressed about telling your mom. And then once we made the decision
Anot to, I feel much better. I feel much better. Because also if you tell. As soon as I tell mom, it'll become a whole thing.
BYeah. Don't tell me.
AShe'll tell everyone. And then every conversation will have to be about this. And then she'll. I don't know, she'll just make me feel worse about it.
BYeah. No point. It's the opposite effect of what should be doing. Right. Sure.
AShe really has no. No notion of breaking the trauma cycle. Do you want to see my new jeans. Nose block. Okay. Two nose drops, Actually. Quite pleased with these. This was the first pair I tried and I think I hit jackpot on first pair.
BSomehow. Now I can't see it only.
AYeah, but that's comfortable.
BYeah. Looks good.
AI feel young now.
BYeah.
AFeel like all of my very straight pants are aging me a little. I also like that it's like little more structured here. And then it goes into wide. The last pair that I tried that I sent you a picture of in my surgery, they were fully loose, which also I guess is very trendy right now. I need to buy new bras desperately. Because all my bras are like, they're the wrong size. They're the size I used to buy in India, 32B. And now I should start Dhiradiya replacing. Hey, baby, can you do one minor alteration for me? This. This Kurti, you can see it's like loose. I want you to literally just pinch it in the middle like this. Just like a V shape.
BI can try, but I think heart say better.
ASmell my neck on different perfume.
BFloral, white, powdery,
Apowdery. But I like the color also like this light jeans. I don't have any light jeans.
BYeah, John.
Portal 2
2011
The worst part about the MacOS window management situation is the inability to instantly switch spaces, and that Apple has continuously ignored requests to disable the nauseating switching animation. Sure, it’s not that long, but I switch spaces often enough to the point where it becomes very noticeable and drives me insane. I believe to have found the best solution to instant space switching!
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