When you realise god Is an absolute prankster and the universe is a insane carnival looney toones like what the fuck god why not make reality fucking simple and program everything to be appreciative of what it has at all time to that suffering isn't necessary

oh my fucking god i've never seen anything more accurate in my life

After about 2 months of researching what hallucinogen I wanted to start with, i decided on Salvia

Sorry if this is a little rude, but what kind of research did you that had you ending up with one of the WORST psychedelic for first timers, and getting the dose wrong to boot? I'm honestly curious because the internet should be full of recommendations to not do exactly that. What you experienced was almost inevitable with Salvia. You should've started with a serotonogenic psychedelic. Take your time to get some distance from the experience and when you're ready I recommend trying one of those. Start low, imo there's a chance that your salvia experience can seep into a deep trips of any kind, that shit doesn't really leave you. But the insights you can get from mushrooms or LSD are worth it. And it can be a lot of fun on lower doses.

You can obviously do whatever you want, but know that when you try to abuse salvia, there's a good chance that you're the one who ends up feeling abused.